Lets face it. Its highly likely that theres been more than one instance in womens lives when theyve faked an orgasm with a male partner because he… couldnt do the right thing to the clitoris. Many women just wanted to get it over with because pretending to have orgasmed and stopping the disaster train was less burdensome than explaining to a partner who doesnt listen about what he could be doing better. But there have also been times for many women where they themselves didnt know what kinda education they needed to be giving their partner about the clitoris and orgasms.
While reaching orgasms is not the only interpretation of pleasure (some even say pleasure is a spectrum), orgasms for women can be pretty intense. Theres a reason that science has given women the power of multiple orgasms. Maybe its like a make-up gift for everything else that women have had to put up with in life. Several psychologists say that faking orgasms is “easier” than communicating to male partners about their sexual desires because men tend to either not care about their partners pleasure or women are afraid of finding out that their
But before we jump to multiple orgasms and what a jump that will be let s talk about the art of clitoral orgasm.
So where is the clitoris? And more importantly, what is it?
Pop culture has unfortunately made the hunt for the clitoral orgasm sound like an urban legend. Let us assure you, its very real.
So real, in fact, that if you sit down with a mirror and explore your vulva using a guide that tells you where the clitoris is (it is located right above the urethra and under the folds of the labia majora) and feel your way through it, youll be deleting a lot of matches from your dating app.
The human body has several erogenous zones (areas that evoke pleasure). While erogenous zones like nipples or the neck serve more than one purpose, the clitoris only purpose is to provide you pleasure. Throw this scientific snippet the next time someone says women arent as “sexual as men.” The clitoris is the most sensitive erogenous zone in the female body with over 9000 nerve endings.
The clitoral organ has two parts internal and external. The external one is what is commonly referred to as the clitoris. And when it comes to you getting an orgasm, the external area of the clitoris is easier to stimulate.
Stimulating the clitoris is the easiest and fastest way to be sexually aroused for most women. A study in 2017 has shown how clitoral stimulation is important to female satisfaction in both intercourse and self-pleasure.
Many women tend to not involve their partner in their orgasm by urging them to stimulate the clitoris. Which is too bad, because the same study show that 36% of straight women preferred clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex as it increased their chances and intensity of orgasm.
If you want your partner to be friendly with the
clitoris, you need to get familiar with it yourself. This means figuring out what it looks and feels like and what kind of movements does your clitoris respond to.
Communication is key. Let your partner know during penetrative sex, fingering, or oral sex what kinda movements gets your clitoris excited. One common feedback would be to communicate that being gentle with the clitoris has always worked in favour of an orgasm. Guide your partner to move up and down the clitoris slowly using fingers or tongue. Tell them that the clitoris can be the gateway to great pleasure for you but it doesn’t open with your partner jabbing it like a button. The key to clitoral orgasm is gentle, consistent strokes, lubrication, and patience. Whether orgasm is the goal to your sexual escapades or just a rest stop, the clitoris can be a great place to engage in both foreplay and well, endplay. The key word here is:PLAY.
If you’re taking a solo trip downtown, the same principles apply to you. But something you need to remember more while masturbating using your clitoris alone is you’re gonna need a lot more lubrication. A common misconception is that it’s okay to use moisturising creams or worse, oil to lubricate your vulva during sex or masturbation. This would be an utter disaster as the vulva is super sensitive and should never be exposed to anything that’s not water-based. Your best bet is to invest in a good water-based lubricant.
Irrespective of whether you use your fingers or a clitoral vibrator or other tools (like the super efficient range of vibrators and sex toys from MsChief) available to you, go slow, be gentle and remember to put yourself first. If this means, getting comfortable with your environment, staying hydrated, using props and tools, or just wanting to stop mid-way and give it a shot some other day, it’s okay. That’s the beauty of living with a clitoris. It exists solely for your pleasure.
